Monday, August 13, 2012

Most of us believe an agent spends her free time reading books and taking pictures of her cat, Meowster Darcy, to post on Facebook. But agents aren't all about novels and felines wearing bow ties, as you are about to find out. 

Vickie Motter: Literary Agent at Andrea Hurst & Associates in Washington

Meet Lady McDeath. On a Friday night two years ago, Vickie Motter and the members of her book club had one too many appletinis while discussing The Help. Feeling spontaneous, the women decided to attend a roller derby match down the road. A tipsy Vickie was transfixed by the rollergirls who slammed each other into walls and punched each other in their baby makers. Wide-eyed, she turned to her book club and said, "Guy—s, we could (burp) totely do this. Lez be rollergurs." That night Vickie's book club became The Babes Of Wrath roller derby team. They have made quite a name for themselves too, going undefeated last season. Vickie (Lady McDeath) is the star player but maintains a humble attitude, crediting The Babes Of Wrath's success to her teammates—Katniss Evermean, Nancy Screw, Belt A Swan, Pippi Dong-Socking, Junie Beats Joan, and Bi-curious Georgina. 

For information on upcoming matches, contact Vickie via Twitter at @Vickie_Motter.

Amy Boggs: Agent at the Donald Maass Literary Agency in New York

You may know that Amy Boggs is a self-proclaimed sci-fi/fantasy nerd, but I bet you didn't know she was almost a reality superstar. In January of 2012, the producers of Wipe Out contacted Amy asking her to star in the pilot of a new reality show called Librarians To Barbarians. Each week, one literary agent would enter a gladiator arena with one self-published writer. The host, Neil Gaiman, would stand before them with a chalice containing strips of paper, the name of a weapon written on each piece. The contestants would randomly select one. . .and then fight to the death. The winner would advance to the next round; the loser would be fed to the CEO of Amazon. Amy enthusiastically agreed, confident in her physical abilities—thanks to her zumba classes at Curves—and eager to payback the self-published writers who were upsetting the literary world. But Amy was a bit too eager. Once in the arena, she charged after her opponent, leapt onto his back, bit off a chunk of his trapezius muscle, spit it out, said, "You don't need an agent, huh? I bet you wish you had an agent now," then decapitated him. The fight only lasted one minute and forty-two seconds. The self-published writer didn't stand a chance; he had randomly selected a butter knife. The producers shopped Librarians To Barbarians around to various networks, but no one would touch it. The show was too gruesome, and the networks were afraid of lawsuits. Above is a photo taken of Amy Boggs for the pilot. Unfortunately, the public never got to see it. Until now.

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